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Need help by englisch aufsatz über den aktuelle News aus dem Irak

Dieses Thema im Forum "Off-Topic-Location" wurde erstellt von stella2002, 1 Juni 2004.

  1. stella2002
    Verbringt hier viel Zeit
    645
    103
    14
    vergeben und glücklich
    Ich bin in englisch leider nicht die beste. Hab letzens ne Fünf wiederbekommen um die Arbeit auszugleichen soll ich Morgen ein Referat zum Thema aktuelle News aus dem Irak abgaben. ( Brauch ne 3 im Abschluss zeugnis)

    währe über fehlerberichtigungen und ergänzungen sehr dankbar :smile:

    Bad news from Iraq

    Not enough that Bush has avenged Iraq for the attack of the 11th September and killed thousends of people with bombs or other weapons, now the american Soliders tortoure innocent people in prison.
    In the medians are manye pictures from prisioners who tortoured from Americans. In the past weeks there are more pictures in on Tv and Newspaper. On of the picture you can see dead prisioners who lay on the ground stacked like sacks of sugar and blood spread all over there body. On some pictures you also see soliders in action, they hit the people with there guns or shoot at them. The Soliders do this because of fun. they encourage one another. They are very proud of it and make movies where you can see what they are doing to the prisioners. This cases was in prison by Abu Ghureib. After the bad news from Iraq, bush needs to convince people in the Usa and Iraq, because he now a way that those constituendies can support. So Mr Bush told Something about the five point Plan. A new goverment can help establish the stability and security in Iraq. Now the Iraqis have a new governor named Ghase el Jawar, after his nomination where bomb attacks in Bagad. 20 People died by this attack


    THANK YOU
     
    #1
    stella2002, 1 Juni 2004
  2. 123hefeweiz
    0
    Bad news from Iraq

    Not enough that President Bush has ambushed Iraq in revenge for the assaults of the 11th of September and killed thousends of people with bombs or other weapons, now the american soldiers are found guilty having tortured innocent people in prison.

    In the media, many photographs of prisoners tortured by american soldiers can be found. In the past weeks, more and more pictures turned up in TV and Newspapers.

    One of the pictures shows dead prisoners laying on the ground stacked like sacks of sugar and blood spread all over their bodies. On some pictures, soldiers in action are shown, hitting people with their guns or shooting at them. The soldiers did so just for fun.

    They encourage one another. They seem to be very proud of their deeds and make movies showing what they did to the prisoners. Most of these cases which have become public occured in the Abu Ghureib penitentiary.

    After the bad news from Iraq, President Bush needs to convince people in the USA and Iraq, because he now (???) a way that those constituendies can support. So President Bush referred to the 'five point Plan'. A new government should help establish stability and security in Iraq. Now the Iraqis have a new governor named Ghase el Jawar, after his nomination further bomb assaults in Bagad took place. 20 People died from this strike.


    Hab jetzt mal versucht, das Ganze sprachlich und inhaltlich soweit zu korrigieren, dass die Hilfe von außerhalb nich auffällt. Ein paar Sätze sind mir aber noch nicht ganz klar bezüglich der Aussage.

    Tips:

    - arbeite mit Passivkonstruktionen, das klingt authentischer.
    - bei Personen immer den Titel (President Bush, Secretary Rumsfeld) dazuschreiben
    - Ich würde den ersten Satz umschreiben. 9/11 spielte natürlich eine Rolle. Ich würde aber eher hervorheben, dass Bush Saddam Hussein beschuldigte, Massenvernichtungswaffen zu besitzen und einsetzen zu wollen. Etwa so:

    Within few months, the two most important reasons for President Bush to assault Iraq are lapsed. Not only did the statement concerning Iraq's property and possible readiness to use weapons of mass destruction turn out to be false. In addition, Iraq's people may think their release from dictatorship and tyranny to sound like a bad joke - for torture and misery continue under the new leadership.


    Noch Fragen? Sonst: Viel Glück!

    Gruß
    hefe
     
    #2
    123hefeweiz, 1 Juni 2004

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